Codependency and Authenticity

Paul Bishop

MA, LPC, LPC/A

1/23/2025

Codependency can be summarized as a need for the approval of others, leading to doing whatever is necessary to keep them from being angry at you. I often say that my “okayness” used to depend on the “okayness” of those around me.  This frequently led to disregarding or minimizing my emotional state or needs to avoid conflict and keep others happy.  When we live with this focus and minimize what we feel, we can not only become resentful and burnt out in trying to play a role we are not equipped to play, but we also begin to lose our sense of authenticity and connection.  Unable or afraid to share our needs for fear of rejection or conflict, we may feel that nobody truly knows us.  Without authenticity, we live with self-doubt. We may carry stress in our bodies from unaddressed emotions and unexpressed frustrations. Authentic relationships will accept where you are and love you as you are. Sharing your heart with safe people will draw you together and not drive you apart.  Be considerate and love others well, but watch out for the trap of codependent relationships that are more about fear than love.