GRIEF
Lisa Wallace
MA, LPC, NCC, CCMHC
11/19/2021
Have you ever considered writing an autobiography? What would the title of your story be? Our lives are a combination of good and bad chapters. Last year I read a book titled “The Power of Bad” by John Tierney. The premise of the book is the power that one bad event can have over our lives. It can be so devastating that we never move past that chapter.
Grief can be that stumbling block that keeps us stuck. Grief is a deep sorrow that is caused by the death of someone or something. We can grieve the loss of a parent, spouse, a child or the loss of a dream, job, or a childhood. These events can steal our hope. As believers in Christ, we don’t grieve as those without hope (1 Thess. 4:13-14). It is difficult journey to move through the grieving process and began a new normal. Using the acronym GRIEF compare the process of grieving without hope and moving towards grieving with hope.
When the initial problem hits, the GROANING starts. The groan quickly turns to REGRET. We rehearse all the “what ifs” and “should haves”. Those are damaging mindsets that lead to ISOLATION. Here the decision is made to hide out and distant ourselves from others. At this point we begin to ENVY what others have and highlight what we are missing. This mindset leads to FORBODING. This is a belief that something bad is going to happen. Then the cycle starts over. The cycle must intentionally be interrupted.
When the groaning starts, GO to the Lord. Take the pain to the one who heals the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:2-5, Luke 4:18-19). Allow the regrets to lead you toward REFLECTION of the faithfulness of God (2Peter1:3). We were created for relationship so we must move from isolation to INTERGATION. Integration means to combine one thing with another to make a whole. When we weep with those who weep the burden is light (Romans 12:15). To get out of the envy cycle choose to use your pain to be an ENCOURAGEMENT to someone else. We can encourage and comfort others the same way we are comforted by our Savior Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). This brings purpose to our pain. Lastly, recognizing when we get into the trap of foreboding, we choose to move FORWARD in our thinking. We must cultivate an eternal perspective. We don’t “move on” we move forward. As a believer in Christ, we will know as we have been known (1 Corinthians 13:12). One day all will be revealed. During the holiday season, if you find yourself grieving the loss of someone or something, Go to Jesus, reflect on His goodness, integrate with other believers, encourage one another to look forward toward the hope of one day Jesus making all things right!