Avoiding Unnecessary Controversies
Paul Bishop
MA, LPC, LPC/S
8/12/2024
We live in times of division. It is an election year, and you will hear strong rhetoric that will create fear from all directions. You may also feel strongly about specific issues, which may be rooted in deep values and convictions. This can make it challenging to be around those who disagree with you or push opposing beliefs. How can we navigate those difficult conversations, keep our serenity, and love individuals who may be hateful or may push our buttons? Here are some thoughts.
1. Measure your words. Proverbs 17:27 says, “a truly wise person uses few words……and then in verse 28, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut they seem intelligent.” People are more likely to hear what you have to say when you say less and not more. In some situations it may be best to avoid speaking when it will only lead to arguing or contention.
2. Set boundaries in your conversations. Just because someone tries to engage you in a discussion does not mean you have to participate. I have a saying in my office, “You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to!” It is okay to say you would rather not discuss that topic. If you already know that you have differing views and neither of you is likely to change, you may need to avoid that conversation.
3. Remain humble. You may be misinformed at times. We live in times where we may hear information that appears to be accurate at the moment but then find as other facts come in that it was not the whole story. The other individual may also have limited information. This does not mean they have ill intentions or lack values. Be humble about what you know and gracious about what they may not.
4. See the common ground. Just because you disagree on one issue does not mean you don’t agree on others. Just because they vote differently does not mean they don’t love America or follow Jesus like you do. Remember what you have in common and focus on this more than what you see differently.
5. Choose a relationship over proving yourself right. We are told in Romans 12:18 to live at peace with everyone as much as possible on our end. This may mean letting someone else have the last word without sharing every fact and argument at your disposal. Jesus showed the example of respect towards those still confused at best and willfully sinning at worst. He chose love and respect and left a lot unsaid. He chose relationships over proving Himself to those not ready to hear. It sometimes meant being misunderstood. Let’s do the same. The world needs our connection more than our correction.