Shame vs. Guilt

July 3, 2020

by: Jason Hallman MA, LPC, SRT

Have you ever stopped to consider the difference between shame and guilt? If you said no, you are not alone. People are often perplexed when exploring this question and the implication on one’s mental health or recovery is paramount. At its’ core, shame can be defined as “I am bad” while guilt can be defined as “I’m a good person who has made some mistakes.” Shame makes YOU the problem, while guilt makes your BEHAVIOR the problem. Shame makes you feel unworthy, useless, unloved, and unforgiveable. Guilt makes you remorseful, hopeful for change, and motivated to grow. In recovery, cognitively and experientially reducing shame is a large part of the battle. Psychologist Brene Brown states that “If we share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” I believe that God does not desire us to be stuck in shame and his Grace is predicated on that reality. We cannot earn God’s Grace…it is freely given if we are willing to accept it with a repentant heart. Ephesians 2: 8-9 reads, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Thus, there is Hope in the promise that Grace is given to ALL willing to accept it and not conditional on the gravity of one’s past behavior. If you are stuck in shame, I encourage you to stop viewing YOURSELF as the problem and allow the GUILT of your past behavior to motivate you towards change via God’s Grace.