EMOTIONS ARE A GIFT
March 3, 2021
Beverly T Puzia, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Pastoral Counselor
As counselors, we often ask our clients to identify an emotion at a given moment. Many people, regardless of their gender, tend to find describing what they are feeling difficult. Often, we start by saying something like, “I feel like you are…” Or “I feel that you must…” Or “I feel like I need…”
None of those beginnings are going to identify what we are feeling. Some steps that can be helpful are to begin by getting better at identifying where in your body you are sensing an emotion. Many find that the emotion of anger is sensed in the tummy or in the shoulders. Increasing our ability to accept a feeling by first sensing it in our body might help.
It is interesting that most of us are adept at identifying positive feelings. When we are happy or excited, we find those words easy to identify and label. The difficult emotions are a little more challenging. So, to be able to say, “I am angry about…” or “I am anxious about…” is harder. Isn’t it sad that we tend to act out those feelings rather than state them?
Can we then accept and acknowledge that we are feeling some difficult emotions and put them in to words rather than act out our feelings and potentially do harm to a relationship? Remember that feelings are just that. Once they are identified and simply acknowledged, can we also remember that feelings are going to come and go. How often do we have an intense response to some event, positive or negative and can hardly remember that feeling as time moves on?
Many times, we should take a few moments and investigate internally why we feel this way right now. Or we can ask what triggered me to feel this emotion. Research has revealed that extreme emotions expressed or acted out in the moment often have something to do with the past. Investigate that possibility and then make an intelligent decision as to what might be the best way to handle this difficult emotion.
An exceptionally good study in emotions can be found in a Book in the Bible called Proverbs. These are simply wise sayings that will give us food for thought for every day of the month. Yes, there are 31 Proverbs so reading one a day might give us some direction particularly with strong or difficult emotions. Could I suggest starting March 1 with Proverb, chapter one. I particularly like reading these in the New Living Translation. “What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.” Proverb 1:9