The Powerful Gift of Forgiveness:

March 19, 2021

by: Anita Isaac MA, LPC/A

Have you ever experienced a situation where you may have been hurt by a friend, family member, and/ or coworker? Have you tried talking with someone about the hurt and they simply tell you to “just let it go!” Not quite the answer you were looking to hear right? And in such moments, those words are “easier said than done.”  The experiences of being hurt, betrayed, and violated are none we ever look forward to. It can almost seem impossible to forgive someone after  they have done you wrong. The act of forgiving doesn’t mean that you are accepting the the person’s behavior. Forgiving means that you are making the choice to let go of the negative emotional connection tied to the experience. It’s a vow you make to yourself to move forward and to let go of the past hurt so that you can live with inner peace . 

Because forgiving is not always an easy thing to do, there are things you can try that can lead to true forgiveness and not just for anyone else’s pleasure or the artificial sake of saying you have forgiven when you truly haven’t .  Acknowledge it , accept that what has happened in the past cannot be changed , journal your thoughts and feelings, and then reset and reconnect.  Reset to positive thoughts and behaviors. Reconnection  should only happen if it’s applicable. Meaning,  if it’s a person  worth reconnecting with  then work on repairing the relationship.  Remember you can forgive without  furthering a relationship , especially one that has been toxic. Keep in mind that holding a grudge can be damaging by increasing stress levels which can possibly lead to anxiety and depression . May this quote by Lewis B. Smedes help you as it has greatly helped me: 

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”