Validation vs. Minimization

June 4, 2020

by: Paul Bishop MA, LPC, LPC/S - Director

As we watch protests, both peaceful and tumultuous, I have been thinking about what people are looking for as they continue to march.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some that are opportunists or anarchists that are taking advantage of a volatile situation and pursuing a political agenda or a personal gain.  For many of those marching peacefully or seeking to be heard, however, it reminds me of many individuals who are just wanting to be heard.  For some, it may not have been their personal experience, but simply anger at injustice, racism or abuse of power.  For others, it triggers the memories and emotions of personal experiences or collective experiences in their own past. This makes some, uncomfortable or fearful and then creates a tendency to minimize the experience of others. They may consider the response of others an overreaction or seek to minimize it through optimism or even denial that things are not that bad and encourage people to move on.  Minimization, however, proves to have the opposite effect of validation and causes people to protest even louder to be heard!  While we see this played out in our cities, think about this in your relationships.  Watch out for minimizing the experiences of others.  Don’t invalidate just because you are uncomfortable. Let us learn to listen to others and seek to fulfill Romans 12:15 where we are encouraged to “weep with those that weep” and in doing so we will bring comfort and healing rather than invalidation and frustration.  God cares about what you have been through and so do we!